It is often said that parenting is the hardest gig there is. And it’s almost true. But what’s really the hardest gig? Thriving with co-parenting after separation.
We know that 47% of divorces involve children, so that’s a whole bunch of young people growing up with folks in separate homes. The GREAT news for you is that 79% of those kids are going to be just fine.
The bad news is 21% of kids are at risk. And there’s a bunch of things they’re at risk of. This includes:
- Behavioural problems including aggression
- Anxiety and depression
- Poor self-concept / sense of self-worth
- Poor social adjustment and loneliness
- Their relationship with both parents deteriorating or feeling unsafe
- Avoidance of romantic attachments persisting into adulthood.
Thankfully, though, I come with more GOOD news. We know that even for that at-risk 21 % of kids, a whopping 70% of that risk can be modified and changed to get their developmental trajectory back on track. And YOU get to play the biggest part in that.
The biggest thing that you can do to safeguard your young people is to shield them from conflict between you and your co-parent.
Those are some of the simplest words to write. But in my years of working with parents walking this road, the nuances of the how, when and why are far from clear. Not only that but you’re being asked to do it in a context that is far from easy to navigate, including:
- Extreme emotions – pain, grief, sadness, anger, frustration, fear – for you, your co-parent, and your kids
- Financial pressure
- Legal pressure
- Confusing, contradicting, and sometimes downright unhelpful advice from well-meaning friends and family
- Exceedingly poor media models to follow – mainstream movies and series rarely portray collaborative, functional co-parenting
What do separated parents really need?
- More time away from stress
- Less judgements from others
- Someone else to carry some of the cognitive load
- Less financial outlay and fewer appointments!!
- An unbiased, straight talking, hand-holding assistant to help you navigate the day-to-day challenges of co-parenting and maybe, maybe maybe….
- The exact same thing for your co-parent
Introducing the Co-Parenting Companion
In the comfort of your home, direct to your inbox, I will deliver timely reminders, hints and tips for navigating co-parenting like a boss. This will include:
- Navigating holiday times and family milestones
- Collaborative communication strategies
- Managing handovers and transitions
- Setting up video and phone-calls for success
- How to talk with your child about their co-parent when they’re happy
- How to talk with your child about their co-parent when they’re complaining, unhappy, or resisting
- Raising contentious issues with your ex
- How to predict and plan your way around the common stumbling blocks that lead co-parents back to the court room
- Skills for nurturing connection and support with your young person
- Self-care strategies to manage the times that are more painful as you raise your children across two homes
- And more…
I know you want it all at once, and I wish I could wave a wand for you, but here’s what we’re going to do: We’re going to keep things bite-sized and achievable, and we are going to climb this same mountain together, one step at a time. Let’s get you on track with the life you want to be living.
Clinical Psychologist & Your Co-parenting Companion
Who is the Co-Parenting Companion Designed for?
If you say yes to any of these, it’s written for you:
- Sole parents wanting to co-parent effectively and efficiently, who don’t have a therapist and/or any ongoing court proceedings
- Separated Parents whose children are attending therapy (with any therapist)
- Separated parents attending individual therapy (with any therapist), who would like some additional low-cost supports specifically around post-separation co-parenting
- Co-Parents attending or wait-listed for Family Therapy (with any therapist) who want to achieve more outside of the therapy room
How long should I subscribe for?
Co-parents need more money in their own pockets, and more clarity/affirmation that the steps they’re taking are developmentally-sensitive around the best interests of the child. A single session with a psychologist can be $260 (APS recommended fee), and an hour with a lawyer anywhere from $250-$600.
The Co-Parenting Companion is designed to be consumed as a once-off 12 month subscription
If you add your own recurring diary prompts throughout the year to remind you what to do in the coming years, 12 months will cover all you need. However, you may find having a companion for the journey so helpful that you choose to stay on for longer. Stay as long as you’re finding benefit.
Do both parents need to subscribe?
No, though that is the ideal. Even if your co-parent never subscribes, and never attends a parenting or communication skills course, there will be plenty, plenty, plenty here just for you.
Does Tiffany need to be my therapist?
No. There are loads of really brilliant therapists! Not all therapists are court-informed, though, and that means that sometimes the way to best help you navigate a co-parenting issue might not be their immediate go-to. The idea of this service is that you can keep seeing your brilliant therapist, and this will give you a heads-up on any co-parenting related topics. You can share them with your therapist if you’d like individualised support for how to apply the skills and tips in your specific situation.
I’m not in Western Australia – is there any benefit for me?
In putting this resource together, I have a particular time-sensitive focus around the West Australian school year; and significant dates in Australia. However, each week is jam-packed with tips, resource links, and simple parenting and communication strategies that work at any time of year. I would expect the value for any co-parent around the world will outweigh the West Australian focus.
There are plans to expand the time-sensitive aspects to other Australian States and Territories, and then perhaps more global – but I’m just starting closer to home, to give a bit of nurture and support to my own community.
Can I try before I buy?
Yes. When you sign up, you’ll receive a two-week free trial. If you get more benefit in that fortnight than two cups of coffee, then it’s probably the right service for you.
Can I use this in Court?
I mean, honestly, the intention of this service is to keep you out of the courtroom as much and as often as possible!! But, yes. I can provide you with a simple report to present to the court that includes:
- A brief overview of the material covered by the Co-Parenting Companion
- How long you have been subscribed for
- The percentage of times you’ve opened your emails
- A rating for how much you’ve engaged with linked content.
An additional administrative fee is charged for the production of this report, and three weeks notice is required.